Still figuring it all out

Better than I imagined

We had 4 showings of our house in 1.5 days and 3 offers. Thursday afternoon we got to weigh the offers and one of them won hands down.  The only "problem", for lack of a better word, is closing is soon. Our only counter was to push back the closing date from March 15 to the 21st. 

No, we haven't quite found another house. We looked at 4 houses the day we signed our paperwork to list and 5 more houses today. One house from today is a strong contender and another is 2nd place. There is one or 2 tomorrow which might be good too.

And I'm going out of town for about 2 weeks in a couple of days. Pressure's on. 

 

Happy Valentines Eve plus bad Kroger Karma with a dash of good list

So for Valentine's day we are putting our house on the market officially and looking at houses with another agent. The two-timing is a little dramatic but not very interesting and mostly stems from my impatience. 

Its been a rough few days. Firstborn still has the ear infection, basically fluid behind his eardrums that won't go away. He is on a 3rd antibiotic. I learned that we have to live through this for 2 more months before an ENT will really get involved. Sigh. He and I both dealt with unpleasant digestive rejection from multiple directions over the weekend. I freaked out because there was so much work to do and all I could do was lay around. Dear Old Dad got to clean up lots of yuck. But somehow its all getting done.

On Friday, the 2nd snow of our odd winter, I was cleaning Firstborn up in a Kroger bathroom with cheap wipes I had swiped off the shelf (and paid for later) because he made a clothes-ruining diaper. While he was screaming at the top of his lungs in the 6 square foot bathroom with 3 stalls, random women commented on his cuteness or crying. One older lady decided it was a good time to give me some unsolicited advice involving salt in a bath. I was also without a change of pants for Firstborn and got to push him around the store in just a onesie and nekkid legs. I was so charged up with frustration that I was prepared for someone to comment on it because it was so cold outside. God is wise, because nobody did and I didn't have to say anything scathing I would regret.

And today I was at a different Kroger and upon checking out (and thoroughly annoying the teenagers who bagged groceries because I asked for paper bags and she had to work a bit extra to find them) I realized I lost my keys. I retraced to the car and couldnt find them (luckily I rarely lock my car). I checked with another teenager working customer service begging for some keys to be turned in and she was annoyed I bothered her to turn her head. I walked 20 feet back into the crowded store by the florist (remember, it's Feb 13) and started to bawl. A stranger carrying an armload of groceries asked me if I needed help and I got the attention of the 4 employees standing around chit chatting at the florist desk and asked for help finding my keys. I found them in the garbage can where I should have thrown out a dirty diaper (but didn't). 

So Kroger and I have some bad karma lately. I have decided that I am not going to Lost Keys Kroger again. Too many fast inattentive drivers, too crowded inside, too many teenagers who can't be bothered to work, and the chance that I will run into my old principal (I saw her there once and avoided her). Yes, that's petty, but luckily I have choices.

So, back to the good stuff. Here's a list:

Tomorrow we sign official house-selling paperwork and look at houses. Yay. 

Watching House and The Walking Dead really cheered me up (even though neither show is that cheery).

My chiropractor is awesome. I got in another good prenatal massage and an impromptu adjustment all while the sweet receptionist ladies watched Firstborn. I will travel the distance back to this town to keep going to her when we move. 

Next week I am going out of town to hang with grandparents. I won't be able to help much except entertain them by chasing Firstborn, but that's ok. I won't be here worrying about the house selling. 

I have a real estate agent friend who is showing a huge amount of integrity and helpfulness and I don't know how I can repay him.

That lady who offered to help me in Lost Keys Kroger was so awesome. 

I think the trips to Home Depot might might might be finished for now, except for some things to return.

I have Girl Scout cookies in a clean refrigerator. 

Despite my feeling like I'm losing mental capacity because I use my brain so much less on a daily basis, I can still rock the socks off of logarithms when I tutor.

Our Firstborn tax refund will be very nice.

My Grandma's surgery went fine. 

I shouldn't have to go to Kroger (except maybe the drive through pharmacy for a non-bubble gum flavor med for Firstborn) until perhaps the weekend.

And its bedtime.

Two posts in one day? No way.

My day changed so much since I wrote that last post a few hours ago. I decided to be productive around the house and spray painted a rusty bathroom vent and our new range hood that will replace our decrepid but well-working microwave. I pulled out nails and spackled things and dusted the walls of our living room (12' ceilings, another non-winner in this house). 

Firstborn is still feverish which cancels the plans I had tomorrow too. We'll live.

Dear Old Dad has an unreasonable deadline at work. He's still there at 8 pm. That sucks. But we'll live.

I found out a former coworker from the cubicle days died yesterday. I loved her. She was hilarious. She got married at 48 and moved to NYC. She was Russian. She made me cry in my first week of working there because of her "russian-ness" and then she made me laugh for 6 years after that. I always hoped I would see her again but I'm not sure how I would have.

I settled on a cleaning lady. The Evil FB provided me with more references than I could handle. But I got one and she seems nice. And she's coming next week. I'm more excited about this than I probably should be. She very nicely reassured me that my house probably isn't as bad as I think it is. I think I'm going to wipe around the toilets before she comes anyway.

I ate pot pie.

The W2s came.

And I got a magazine. 

So now I'm keeping the TV off and going to read my magazine and book. Isn't your life more complete now that you know all this?

Emotional

I've been an emotional wreck the last 24 hours. I just talked to my wonderful friend M who is also pregnant with her 2nd child and needs to move and sold her house while she had a baby. She was such a good person to vent to. Yay friends!

So, if I still wrote in a journal this is what I would write. Here's my list of things that are bothering me and what I can do about them or make peace with them.

Firstborn is sick with ear infection #2 this year. He just finished antibiotics on Saturday. The congestion came back and he had fevers all night, so I toughed out the walk-in clinic hours at the pediatrician, wishing I didn't go to the popular one because it was an hour wait. So we get another kind of antibiotics. I have chronic ear issues. He inherited it from me. I just wish it didn't have to start so stinking early. I wouldn't wish these ear issues on any kid. I had tubes in my ears twice as a kid and almost a 3rd time a few years ago (during the Clomid days). I had surgery for a hole in my eardrum and I have a wicked scar from it. Sigh. SOLUTION: This too shall pass. Trying chiropractic next week. Will do a specialist if this persists and pediatrician is on board with that.

The sitter. She is a nice lady and probably does a fabulous job. There are too many kids there (yes, that is lame). I just can't do it anymore. And I don't need to. And two good friends pointed out that I can go with my gut and stop, its ok. SOLUTION: No more sitter unless its a church friend, family or a college student at my home.  

Selling our house. We have decluttered. Cleaning lady is coming sometime next week, I hope. Dear Old Dad has a long list of things he needs to do and I started panicking yesterday about meeting a deadline that I have imposed on us for getting the house on the market. That's ridiculous. Yesterday at Home Depot I got really annoyed with the person "working in flooring" because there was only one type of ceramic tile adhesive and it was more than I needed and just dumb. All she could talk about was the color and I almost exploded to her that the color of adhesive that goes UNDER tile doesn't matter one bit. And then I started ranting about how much I hate ceramic tile to this stranger. I don't like putting all this pressure on Dear Old Dad but I can't do what is left to do. There isn't much I can control now, and there won't be much I can control for the rest of this process. I can only put my foot down that we will not buy another house with ceramic tile. SOLUTION: Dear Old Dad has repeatedly pointed out the obvious and best part of this - we still have a house. And we can afford it. I may hate hate hate the location but we can live with it. And that wonderful husband of mine just will probably pull through and be magical about how productive he is.

We still don't have Dear Old Dad's W-2 and can't do our taxes yet. It would be comforting to have those done and get our Firstborn refund. SOLUTION: Nothing. Its supposedly in the mail and as soon as we get it I will beg Dad the Accountant to hook us up with tax prep.

I'm sick too. SOLUTION: Its just snot. Sudafed and benadryl are good friends.

OK. That's really all. I could rant about the minor things too like my vacuum cleaner cord or the perpetual dog hair or the ceramic tile but that's really whiny. I do feel better now. Its ok to get upset and have anxiety about stuff. But it will be ok. I have this little quote taped in my car that says "one day at a time". Its actually something that I had showing prominently in my cubicle back in the day. If I was going through then what I'm going through now, I would probably be in a looney bin because I was not equipped to deal back then. Now I feel like I am. Huh. Is that what getting old is like?

I'll take it.

Torn

Today marks the 4th time Firstborn is with a sitter 4 hours in the morning. Here's a recount of each visit:

The first time was awesome. Dear Old Dad and I dropped him off together and it looked promising. I got groceries, so so so much done in the house, packing and cleaning-wise. When I picked him up he seemed happy to see me and was getting played with in the high chair and the toddlers were peacefully playing.

The second time I guess I got stuff done. I shifted into lazy websurfing mode for a while (which I can do with him around). I sort of missed him. When I picked him up he was in the highchair and the babysitters were playing with their phones  and doing each other's hair and the toddlers were sort of wildly watching TV. One was in a pack-n-play cage. But they did crafts with him and Dear Old Dad said that when he was dropped off they were going to make Firstborn the drummer in a rock band, which is the cutest thing in the world.

The third time (Monday), Dear Old Dad dropped him off. I got a lot done in the house, mostly involving final packing and organizing Firstborn's bedroom. It was productive. But I missed him and decided to pick him up early. When I got there, 10 minutes early, the other baby (13 months old and walking - Firstborn is 10 months old and crawling) was in the high chair and Firstborn was strapped into his carseat crying. He had spit up (not suprising) and was wearing his backup outfit. On his sheet they said he had 3 diaper changes for being wet (what the fork? in 4 hours?!?) And the toddlers were bouncing off the walls in front of a movie while the sitter talked to another mom and scolded them to get on their mats to sleep. Right. Then the sitter (who is a very nice person) talked to be outdoors about boy names for about 10 minutes while the other kids were alone in the house. 

This morning was not good. Firstborn woke up at 4:30ish and was fussy and off and on asleep until 6:30. I had a prenatal massage and chiropractic adjustment and then because of some snotty sore throat crud I decided to pop into the walk-in clinic to make sure it isn't anything bad like strep (its not). While waiting I was looking at Firstborn's pics in my phone and a cute video of him swinging and I almost bolted out of the dr's office to get him. And now that I'm home for a bit I found out Dear Old Dad was rushed and forgot the diaper bag and had to come back and get it. I'm a little scared of what I will find when I pick up my child in a few minutes.

This sitter experiment might be over. I did get work done and I guess now I know what its like. Hopefully Firstborn will forgive me. I'm going to get him now because writing about this has not made me feel better.