Uh...Happy 1st Mother's Day?

Sunday was Mother's Day. It was nice to participate in the rituals at church that honor mothers instead of either completely skipping church or writhing with bitter jealousy. Thank you baby.

On the way to church, the Mommymobile that we just bought 2 weeks earlier sort of broke down. We have wonderful friends at church who brought us home and we got to drive around the car with no AC. That was ok. Dear Old Dad took me out to my fave restaraunt for lunch and we had awesome Chinese for a late dinner.

At dinner you were fussy, but not extremely so and it didn't elevate. Dear Old Dad and I had a little argument in the car on the way home and I was feeling like poop. You felt cold and clammy. We got home and you weren't phased by a diaper change, so I took your tempurature. It was 9 pm.

101.

The scary number is 100.4.

The doctor said do not pass go, but go straight to the big fancy children's hospital an hour away instead of the hospital where you were born. The drive there was so awful. They worked on you right away. Seeing itty bitty you (7.9 pounds exactly) all wired up and trying to comfort you as they attempted to draw blood and put in an IV was terrifying. You had a lumbar puncture.

Your fever went down. In fact, it was never as high as 101 in the hospital.

We were in the hospital 2 nights, approximately 36 hours. I haven't told many people. I don't know what to say to them. You're healthy and ok. They checked everything and the fever cannot be explained, which the doctor (the head of pediatrics at this big super fancy reputable hospital) assured me is actually a good thing and what they want. One of us held you almost the whole time we were there. You became even more beautiful to me than you ever were before. (In fact I had to sneak another peek at you asleep and squeeze your hand.)

Every maternal instinct I could ever have has kicked in. I bawled when people mentioned this as a horrible mother's day. My parents had all their friends praying for you. I told a couple of good friends who were loving and suuportive.

It was so scary. Until then I felt like the other shoe was going to drop. This was it. I am not in control, only extremely lucky to be your mom.